a step by step explanation of what happens when you are uninspired

• you violently deny your lack of inspiration, perhaps trying to force a faux inspiration that isn’t truly there. you talk constantly about what is supposed to be inspiring you, trying to gauge how inspired others are by what you wish you were inspired by.  perhaps you secretly makes you feel like you are wasting your time.
• you feel angry that you have in fact, not so secretly, wasted your time. wasted your fucking time. again. you knew it wasn’t working, why did you even try??? what the hell were you thinking? why are you so stupid? why are you so god damn untalented and uncreative… and maybe it would have helped if at some point before this moment right now, someone took you by the hand and said ‘hey friend, your not so good, maybe quit while you are ahead”. bitches. 
• you feel try and make a deal with yourself, and with others, that maybe if you do a little something creative, the inspiration that you thought was already there will blossom into the imaginative and beautifully artistic creation you are supposed to be creating.
• then the depression sets in… who am i? what am i doing here? i’m a fraud. what was i thinking? why would i ever think that i could ever accomplish/create/be so inspired? maybe you spend extended amounts of time in bed in the dark, or on Facebook looking at your friends who look far more inspired than you…
• finally you accept the fact that what ever you are doing to inspire yourself is NOT working. so fuck that. if this was an improv game, it would be time for a ‘new choice’. so you make a new choice. you flip your lack of inspiration on its head and become inspired by the journey you just made to find inspiration. you put on some music, sing really loudly, take some time, breathe, be purple, be a bird, be the ocean. 
• then you realize that this journey you have just gone on, across the seven seas of inspiration, actually fueled your fire, made you feel that feeling you were looking for… maybe you shed a few tears for your cause, but now you are ready to create. 

note:     reading back over this to check for the inevitable spelling errors i will have made, i realize that the stages of uninspiration are a lot like Elizabeth Kubler Ross’ stages of grief… 5 stages I know all too well. maybe thats why I have been an emotional mess for the past few weeks.